Play Host
Whether you're at a club, at a social gathering or even one-on-one, Feinstein recommends that you
try putting everyone around you at ease.
"When you're out there and you're dating, forget about the rejection," says Feinstein. "Pretend that you're hosting a party wherever you are, and that it's your job to make everybody comfortable, and to learn everybody's name.
"This way, you get to meet everybody that's there and you don't have that pressure on you. Take the dating part out of the equation and make it easy for yourself."
Visualize Your Date as A Pet
Come again?
"For guys that are really intimidated by women -- and I can't believe I'm saying this, but just to help with the confidence thing -- pretend the woman is a dog and you need to come back to me and tell me what kind of dog she is," says Feinstein. "That's your exercise, so you're not intimidated by her."
If you're a guy, Feinstein says this controversial exercise will help you relax and put the date in perspective.
"Women will kill me for saying that, but it does take away some of the nerves. Men will go out and they'll tell me, 'She was like a poodle' (high-maintenance) or 'She was like a Labrador' -- she wants to do this and that and this.
"They're judging the date better, instead of thinking, 'I hope she's going to like me.'"
Women can also employ this device, and if the Fido visualization doesn't do the trick, Feinstein suggests entertaining another substitution that is equally soothing.
"I turn it into something not as threatening, as a person who isn't going to reject them," she explains. "You have to change your thinking."
Always Go For the Kiss
Providing, of course, the evening wasn't a disaster and that your date isn't sending signals indicating that such action would be unwelcome. If the date went well, the vibe seems right and you seem to be getting the non-verbal green light, bear this in mind:
Guys
"Flirting is like auditioning," says Feinstein. "You know you're going to lose, so you may as well go all out anyway and have fun with it.
"It's also expectation and guts -- women like guts. So you always go in for the kiss, because that shows confidence: 'I don't care if you like me or not, I'm still kissing you!'
"You look wimpy if you don't."
Gals
"Women have to understand that men have to be the hunters," says Feinstein. "So let them make their moves. They need it for their egos."