Yes, the old joke goes that when you date a divorced guy you get a new man who's housebroken without having had to train him yourself. There is a nugget of truth in this for both sexes. Marriage forces you to learn to share of yourself and to be more sensitive to the needs of a partner in a way you never really discover when you're just dating.

 

Ron J. says, "I may have lost my coveted leather chair [sigh] and the new CR-V to the ex, but I gained a lot too. I'm a better person for having shared a daily life with her. I know that relationships take work and I'm jumping into the singles scene with a willingness to make that effort."

 

It's more than putting the toilet seat down or capping the toothpaste. It's learning that the sexes are truly different, and to be successful in a relationship you have to understand that reality and accommodate accordingly. Not that men and women will ever truly understand each other, but the formerly married are further across that bridge than most.

 

OK, I'm not going to be a Pollyanna about this one. Dating someone who has had kids from a previous relationship presents a host of issues and challenges to deal with. But there are definite upsides: you get to experience the joys and thrills of life with kids (and there are many) without actually having them. Call it a test run. It's a lot easier than actually carrying them, birthing them and then discovering at 5 am one morning that you aren't the parenting type -- and a lot less permanent.

 

There's nothing better than bedding down with someone who knows what they're doing in the sack. The recently divorced are obviously sexually experienced and many times, the end of their previous relationship has seen a long period of celibacy, so doing it with a divorcee means a hunger for some horizontal validation. And they are under no illusions about jumping in the sack always resulting in Hollywood endings.

 

Here are some more great tips for Dating After Divorce

 

And don't forget to throw a Divorce Party!