And if you were exactly normal (five-feet, eight-inches tall, 167 pounds, with a dog and 0.7 cats), you would be, well, abnormal.
As your friendly neighborhood dating expert, one of the questions I get asked most often is: Is that normal?
My new boyfriend just asked me to shave his back. Is that normal?
My girlfriend will dump me if I don't propose after 57 dates. Is that normal?
My friend Susan only sleeps with bald guys named Frank. Is that normal?
So darlings, for your dating pleasure, I have compiled a list of Official Dating Averages. Now, you can learn once and for all that you are absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt normal. And that you've been hooking up with weirdos almost exclusively.
How long does it take for the average man or woman to fall in love? Three dates or 14?
Research shows men know they're falling in love after just three dates, but women don't fall until around date 14.
Paul Davis, author of Breakthrough for a Broken Heart puts the number around six for both. "Love is a term commonly used for one's favorite food, car, TV show, clothing and singer. With the word love being so readily used in today's culture people can fall in love within six dates. Whether this love proves to be true and will endure the test of time however remains to be seen."
How many days should you wait for him to call? Three.
According to an AOL survey, a whopping 91 per cent of men will call within the first three days if they like you. And nearly half (45 per cent) will call the day after a date. Yet another reason not to chain yourself to the sofa, waiting for Prince Charming to call. If he hasn't called by day three, he probably won't. Next!
For all you guys who think it's a good idea to just let the chicks call you: Don't. A whopping 49 per cent of women will never call a man first.
What is the average number of sex partners? Five.
While 20 per cent of men and four per cent of women surveyed report more than 21 sex partners, the median number was eight for men, three for women. Twenty-eight per cent have had five-to-10 sex partners, 25 per cent have had two-to-four partners, and 19 per cent have given all their lovin' to just one person.
Thirty-three per cent of younger singles (29 and under) have had rebound sex (compared with just 19 per cent of singles over 30). And 16 per cent of younger singles have had "revenge sex" ("sex to get back at someone else").
More odd information: 28 per cent of single men claim to have had participated in a threesome, which is double the rate for all adults. Are they bragging? Who knows? It seems a little hard to believe that just 14 per cent of women are indulging the threesome fantasies of almost one-third of single men. Seems a bit like the old conundrum: Most women have faked orgasm and most men believe it's never happened to them. You do the math.
How many dates before the first kiss? Two.
Author Davis says, "Generally if a woman will go out with you a second time she is comfortable kissing you to some extent, even if just a peck on the cheek or lips." So, if she agrees to a second round of linguini with you, she's probably up for a little smooch on the porch.
How many dates before you have sex? Four to six.
A recent AOL survey says 40 per cent of women feel the right time to do the deed is around the one-to-three-month mark, while 35 per cent of men think the second or third date is perfect timing. The compromise? Usually four-to-six dates. Davis says, "In today's culture sex is a big thing and nearly everybody wants to have it and not wait until marriage to take a test drive. Yet with sexually transmitted diseases, some women are more cautious and slower to take their clothes off than others.
"Men on the other hand are hormonally challenged with all of their testosterone and like cavemen of old haven't changed much, though they dress up well and talk a good game to get in a woman's pants. The rare exception is one who has a moral upbringing and is preparing for the priesthood."
How many dates before you decide you want and will ask for an exclusive relationship? Six to eight.
Davis says, "Usually after some dates and at least one pleasurable sexual experience, you will start thinking about keeping that person for yourself and not sharing the goods."
How long before you start looking for greener pastures? Three to five months.
The most common time for break-ups is around the three-to-five-month mark, when the shiny excitement and good behavior of a new relationship is starting to wear off, and our real selves start to seep through.
How many dates before you trade keys? 12 to 14.
How in love do you have to be with a person before you give them unfettered access to your refrigerator, your shoebox of old boyfriends on the top shelf of the closet, or (gasp) your answering machine? In an informal coffee shop poll (as in, I asked some people while I was standing in a horribly long line at Starbucks) the general consensus was four to six months. Davis, however, estimates just 12 to 14 dates. "You want to get to know a person. You may sleep with someone, but that doesn't necessarily mean you trust them. You have to build up a trust with people before you can hand over complete access to your home."
How long before you know you want to marry someone? One year.
While many women mentally fast-forward through a fantasy projection of marriage, children, golden retrievers and clam bakes at Siesta Key within a few short weeks of meeting someone new, men and women both come to the same "I Do" or "I Don't" conclusion at the same juncture: about one year. The difference between the sexes: women will wait around (sometimes for YEARS) if the guy hasn't popped the question by the one-to-two-year mark, hoping he'll see things their way. But men will usually end a relationship with someone if their proposal is declined.
Davis says, "People are a bit more cautious and want to wait to see how they feel about a person after the initial infatuation has died down."
And, while it's nice to know where you fit in with the rest of the world (in my case, more phone-phobic, way more key conscious, and slightly less sexually game) the best policy is to do what feels most comfortable to you. Every pie chart of sexual behavior has space for all of us.
There's no need get sucked into what everybody else is doing. Every person and each relationship is different. So even if shaving your boyfriend's back is perfectly normal, it doesn't mean you have to buy into it. Tell him you're a fabulous nonconformist, and shuffle his hairy self off to a waxing professional.
Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!