Relationships challenge us and help us to mature. Oftentimes, they act as a mirror, highlighting the changes we need to make in our own life and the lessons we need to learn. Maybe the last guy we dated cheated and we were "too trusting" or maybe he was a "commitment-phobe." Maybe we jumped in too soon or maybe you just weren't right for each other. The truth is we have all been through something that has made us more guarded than we may want to be. But avoiding a potential wound will not protect your heart. It will only shut down your ability to love and to grow.
The key is finding the lesson in that past hurt and learning something from it. Don't focus on the fact that you were cheated on and that no one will ever love you again. Focus on better communication and finding someone where both of your needs will be met. That relationship made you stronger. We have all suffered and yet, we have all survived. The truth is, when you meet someone worthwhile you will take that risk and you should be fearless in your relationships, and you'll find what you are looking for.
How to date fearlessly
1. Remember you aren't the only one who has been hurt: The guy you're with has probably been hurt at some point in his life too, and he's just as afraid as you are. Just remember that you lived through your past hurt. We are all afraid of repeating our mistakes and jumping in too soon - but we are not alone in that fear.
2. Throw out the timeline: There is no right time to "have the talk."There is no perfect time to have sex. There is no perfect time to say, "I love you." There is no ideal time to get married. The perfect time is a personal decision. Don't rush things because you feel they should be a certain way.
3. Be patient and trust: Everyone dates at a different pace and it may take time for both of you to feel comfortable and to really be yourselves. It also may take time to open up. Take a deep breath and keep things in perspective.
4. Believe you deserve to be in a successful relationship: This is key. Your thoughts are powerful and as long as you believe you will never find happiness or that you don't deserve a loving partner, this will be your reality.
5. Keep your life full and have fun: Don't make him everything - especially in the beginning. You had a life before him and that is attractive. Keep your support system close by. Your friends are the people who will always be in your life.
This article appears courtesy of SingleEdition.com
Nicole Glassman is a freelance writer about thirty-something singles. She is founder of
Your Magic Elixir , a program that helps singles create fuller lives.
