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So You're Dating a Player
By Elizabeth Bromstein
How can you tell can you tell if you're dating a player?
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Only a player can decide if he wants to stop playing. ~ Elizabeth Bromstein It takes another player to shut down another player. It is obvious before you start dating, you must have chatted with the guy (or gal) online on the phone whatever tech medium avails. Pretty much you have a sense of feelings what the individual is like (assumption and benefit of the doubt). Consenting to meet means taking chances, daring the risks, experimenting, exploring, discovering, and finally what would it be? Really! It all boils down to choices and decisions to make. When you agree to fall for someone, you agree to let the emotions take control before your head rules, you ignore investigating him/her…then the player cannot be held responsible for one’s own stupidity eh. Dating, Relationship, Intimacy, Marriage…yadah…yadah…there’s no guarantee of everlasting heaven.
Posted on 8/26/08 4:55 PM.
Reply to IIIENIGMAIII
What this article looks like is glorifying guys who settle for less and take whatever they get. And everyone who wants to reach for more, better or just like to know the choices he might have is treated as player. To me this article is quite inconsistent. On one hand, the "bad player" on the other - David Wygant making some clever comments. I don't know anyone who fell in love at the first sight and then they got together, got married, etc. without any kind of "game" - I think everything has to be deserved and each has to know what the other is. To me it's almost like dancing, only more sophisticated, one step forward, one step back (see what your partner does) I personally think very close, to what David was saying: that each has to have it's own life and keep some parts of their lives for themselves. That keeps both parties interested and caring so in effect the relationship grows.
Posted on 8/26/08 4:57 PM.
Reply to THENICEGUYISGONE
I like the article with the exception of the part towards the end, which advices on "playing his game". That would ultimately suggest that a women should alter her personality in order to "catch someone who is not really a prize". If anyone thinks they gonna build a relationship which should be good on lack of honesty and games "Im hard to get" they highly mistaken. Games are well received in preschool ...not in grown up relationships. And if a player desires you (a women)only when other man are wanting you, that spells his interest in you as a person in none. Sooner or later if the "game" works you have to cut thru the crap and when he finds out he is the object of affection not the other onces according to the article - he will be gone. Good luck with players and games (have you considered getting a nice PS2 station instead ;)
Posted on 8/26/08 4:57 PM.
Reply to VIOLET007
So i was taught to open and hold doors for women along with other gentleman like qualities....I'M A PLAYER ...I THINK NOT. So its articles like this that give wrong impressions of guys like me.
Posted on 8/26/08 4:58 PM.
Reply to RIPPER61
Chill out Ripper61 and given women some credit. If you are acting like a gentleman you will be perceived as such. "Guys like you" who make sweeping generalizations get the rep they deserve.
Posted on 9/11/08 1:35 PM in reply to
Reply to Laptop
i dated a player and to this day...it still hurts that i was played.
Posted on 9/26/08 10:38 PM.
Reply to Anonymous One
I feel for you I feel the same way
Posted on 10/12/08 10:19 PM in reply to
I found this article to be very informative and non-judgmental. I'm in a relationship with a player now--just found out after two years--and needed to hear an objective opinion. The verdict is still out on whether I'll walk or not. BTW, we are in our fifties. Don't assume that all players are 20-somethings!
Posted on 4/19/12 11:23 AM.
Reply to Laura
You right Laura. Players can be of any age. I am in a relationship with a player now myself and he is 70 and he is 72. We are both widowed. Go figure. I am thinking very hard about ending this relationship like real soon
Posted on 8/4/12 1:18 AM in reply to
Reply to lucyann
Being new on the market, so to speak, i was no aware of this.
He was charming, and never judged me, so I thought. Behind my back he degraded to family and friends. I never, at the time, understood why his family disrespected me. He told me he could not control what people said. This was after an atty. woman friend at a party asked me if he found me on the street corner. He just laughed, and said he paid 1500. Being a lady, i said nothing, other than "excuse me?"
There is many more.
In the end, it was all mental abuse.
To this day he continues to play woman. Thank God, i got out of that, before it distroyed me.
The lesson was a big one. I truely had no idea there were cruel people out there like that.
I did google him..nothing....but after a couple of months, after a few comments of his, i found him on sex sites, and craigs list. God help his future victims.
Posted on 12/27/12 9:28 PM.
Reply to burned