Horny and Hornier

Who wants more sex -- men or women?

-- Anna

Kelly Says:

Men. I could stop there, but I'm not sure my content manager would agree to pay me for a one-word response. (Actually, in this case, yeah I would have -- Ed)

It's a generalization. But so are all realities. And I hope you don't go thinking that I'm basing my response on a personal observation, Anna Banna Bo-Fanna. Most of my past lovers would agree that I'm perhaps too fond of the word "again!" Think about it in an animalistic way. Males across almost all species strive to sow their seed in as many females as possible, to boost populations and establish dominance in the pack. It's innate, instinctive and an undeniable part of our psychological and physiological makeup. And having sex, in many ways, is about having power. Men, being the more competitive and power-hungry gender that they are, feel a greater need to copulate (regardless of safe-sex precautions). It's true, there are peaks and valleys throughout a lifetime -- men peak in their teens and women in their early 30s -- but overall, men win the more-sex battle, hands (and pants) down.

Brent Says:

Most people would say men but I disagree.

Women and men enjoy sex equally. The difference lies in their approach to sex. Men are basically ready to drop knickers and do it anytime, anyplace. Women need to be in the mood for sex. They want men to seduce them, to be romantic and to make them feel loved. For men that can be confusing because for us sex is a very physical experience as opposed to the emotional one it is for women. So what happens? When a man thinks about sex he's ready to go and tries to grab his partner and throw her on the bed. His partner, though, is feeling a little stressed or sad or just not loved at the moment and rebuffs him. The conclusion in said man's mind? Men want sex way more than women.

Women Lying to Themselves?

I have been separated for six years and divorced for two. I am attempting to find that spark, that someone special again, but with what I have just read there are two things that come to mind: fear and confusion. I read all these profiles and respond as respectfully as I know I should, but it appears that women (most, not all) want something that they are truly not expressing. Am I wrong or just paranoid?

-- Michael

Brent Says:

That's a pretty vague question, Michael. Are you sure you're just not frustrated and confused that you aren't getting the responses you want to your advances? Come on dude, you've been dating long enough to know the score. Nobody knows what they want until they find it. That is the equally frustrating and exhilarating thing about finding love: its mystery. So yes, women may want something that they aren't expressing. They don't know what it is until they find it. What about you? What does your profile say that may not always pan out when you meet someone? Maybe you say that you're looking for a mature woman who is great with kids. When a single mom with three of them shows up and you're not digging the extra baggage do you think she might ask herself why you lied about yourself in your profile? Stick with it, Michael. It's tough finding love but worth it in the end.

Kelly Says:

You may not be wrong or paranoid, but you're also not expressing yourself that well either. I've read your question a few times and I'm still not sure what you're trying to say or ask. You're looking for that "someone special," basing your gut feelings about people on profiles and emails alone? You comment that women out there come across as fearful and confused, but isn't that more or less what you're saying about your own emotional state as a new single? Maybe you're asking me, 'What do women want?' Well, save yourself a trip to Mel Gibson's mansion and let me tell you instead. Many women want the same thing that you do: to find that special someone, to fall in love, to be loved and respected. To be happy.