Sexologist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, believes that every man has it in him to go down like a pro. Here's how.
First things first, forget everything you learned from watching porn, because it just doesn't work in the real world. "Guys who get all their techniques from porn and go after clits like a cobra after a mongoose are not going to give great head," says Kerner, noting that ignoring porn also extends to your actions when receiving oral sex. "Don't use her mouth like a vagina. Slapping her in the face with your penis and coming all over her face is disrespectful and rarely a turn-on for her," he says.
Also, forget all those tried and tested techniques of urban legend -- such as working your way through the alphabet with your tongue hoping she'll come off before you reach Z. If you work to a formula, it will be obvious and you'll have your lady yawning rather than moaning with pleasure at your tongue's high standard of literacy.
Kerner suggests getting her stimulated before going down by kissing and caressing the rest of her before getting between her thighs. When you finally get your tongue to her sweet spot, go slow. "Start off tentatively, and if you're not sure what to do let the woman move herself against your tongue and take the lead. Having a firm, still, flat tongue and letting her press against it can be really effective," says Kerner.
Touch the rest of her as you lap at her pussy; stroke her breasts, her ass, whatever you can reach. Ask her what she likes. Every woman is different, so while some might like it rough, for others a gentle start-up will pave the road to a killer orgasm.
"Remember that the tongue is not a mini-penis. Focus on stimulation rather than penetration and realize that all of the nerve endings that contribute to orgasm are right there situated in the surface of the vulva," says Kerner. Try humming or gently blowing on her clit to send those nerve endings into a frenzy.