One woman Kerner knows described her lover's attempts at oral sex as being akin to the running of the bulls in Spain, a mad stampede for her clit that made her just want to jump out of the way. "The majority of complaints from women are about men who think they know what they are doing but really don't and are way too rough or men who seem to go down less than enthusiastically and women get the feeling that they're impatient or they're not enjoying it," he says.
The other side of the coin is that men feel so pressured to be good lovers that they develop a kind of performance anxiety, which puts them off actually trying to get a girl off with their tongues. These men are usually way too shy to ask a woman how she likes it, which is a shame because plenty of gals know exactly how they like to be licked and sucked and would happily offer direction.
"These men become so anxious that they avoid the act all together," says Kerner. Being anti-oral is a very sad way to be, not just for the hung-up guy's sex partner but also for the guy in question. There's a lot of pleasure in being able to bestow mind-blowing orgasms, and a happy lady friend is much more likely to return the favor with true dedication.
The key is to just bury yourself in her pussy and let yourself go. Don't rush, give her as long as it takes to get her off. Don't think of it as a trade-off to get blown. "Men think blow-jobs are par for the course but going down on her is something special," says Kerner. "Guys need to get out of that mindset to be great lovers."
So don't just save it for her birthday. Make oral action a part of your regular sex life to reap the benefits of mutual satisfaction.