"Your mouth is giving the moisture and heat and the hand is creating the pressure," she explains. "And you're also doing a slow rotation of the hand while building sensation, and your tongue is doing a short back-and-forth motion left-to-right or up-and-down." This stimulates the ultra-sensitive frenulum, the V where the glans (head) meets the shaft on the underside of the penis.

A search on the Internet reveals a few more methods, none of which this writer takes exception to. For instance: take the head in your mouth, and suck and tickle with the tongue, move your lips up and down the shaft, sucking and pressing with lips and tongue, slow or fast, taking as much into your mouth as you like. Slide down as far as you can, drawing his penis out slowly while sucking on it.

Method 2: Lick upwards from the testes to the top, like a lollipop. Place your thumb at the base of the penis to block the tube through which semen escapes to block its escape. At the same time suck vigorously on the head of the penis so the ejaculation, when it comes, will be much longer and more intense.

Method 3: (not for the squeamish): Begin a slow playful search around his bottom. Feeling a finger there will enhance the feelings from your mouth, tongue and throat on his penis. Insert (gloved and/or well-lubed) finger into his anus. When finger is inside, massage prostate to produce "delightful" sensations.

And don't forget the testicles or what Paget calls the step-children -- "because they belong to somebody else and they're often ignored. More men want to have that area played with at the same time during oral stimulation than they want anal stimulation. The rule of thumb is: treat them like small breakable eggs."

One thing women should keep in mind is that male sexual response is different from a woman's. Where the female pattern tends to build, plateau, build, plateau, men's is more "like a straight-up mountain," says Paget.

So, if you've got a good rhythm going, by breaking it -- say, because your mouth is getting tired or the oven timer goes off and you have to take out the roast -- you risk setting yourself back by several minutes. Which may or may not suit your purposes.

And since guys like to watch, it's important that, whatever the woman is doing, she's comfortable with being viewed. And the importance of eye contact, signaling mutual excitement, cannot be overestimated. "It can be crucial," says Paget. "If he knows she's enjoying what she's doing, he's enjoying it more."

As for the frequency with which to bestow this gift -- well, that's up to the giver. One female friend told of an ex who wanted it all the time. "And I'm thinking, 'This is supposed to be a treat,'" she says.

But whether you consider it part of his birthday celebration or a crucial step in what Paget calls "your lovemaking script," remember that it's all about making him feel like the center of the universe, if only for a few minutes. And maybe afterwards, he'll finally take out the garbage.

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