It achieved infamy on a late, great Seinfeld episode when Jerry tried unsuccessfully to talk dirty with his girlfriend, asking her if she was wearing the "panties that your mother laid out for you."
In an effort to overcome that kind of awkwardness, here are some tips on how to talk the talk. Apprehensive? Well don't worry -- erotic talk is really nothing to fear. It's a very healthy way of sharing an erotic experience. As Dr. Carol Queen, author of Exhibitionism for the Shy says, it's just another form of sexual communication.
"Today I can ask for exactly what I want sexually, and learn my partner's preferences, via direct questioning and fantasy talk. Communicating this way will maintain -- even heighten -- our level of arousal."
Overcoming Oral Bashfulness
If the very thought of erotic talk makes you want to take a lifelong vow of silence, there are a few baby steps you can take. Dr. Queen suggests working on your shyness by talking out loud to yourself while you're masturbating. Don't worry if you can't muster up a coherent sentence -- just making sounds is a good start. As Dr. Queen says, "If you think erotic words or phrases while you coo and gasp, you will find that as you get more turned on, the words will superimpose themselves onto the sounds."
Just Express Yourself
It's important not to blow erotic talk out of proportion. You don't have to prepare notes or talking points on cue cards. At its core, you just have to express yourself. Giving and receiving feedback during sex is the best starting point to engaging in erotic talk. Saying that you really like something that your lover is doing counts as erotic talk, so repeat after me: "I love it when you do that."
Move from general phrases like the one above to more specific phrases like, "I get so hot when you lick my nipples..." or whatever it is you like having licked.