After several more nights of dry humping till dawn, you can no longer deny it: the sexual chemistry is explosive. In fact, the anticipation of that first time together has become almost unbearable.
There's no point in waiting any longer. It's Time.
You invite your new love interest over for dinner on a night when neither of you have to work the next day. You both know what that means. Jimmies are bought. Bits are shaved. Sheets are changed. The stage is set. If the sex is half as good as the foreplay, your world is about to be rocked... or so you think.
But what happens when that highly anticipated first fuck fails to deliver an earth-shattering orgasm (or any orgasm at all for that matter)? Talk about anticlimactic. Can a new romance survive a disappointment of such penetrating proportions?
For many of us, that's a resounding no. For relationship therapist Mark Smith, however, it's a definitely maybe.
"I don't think people should get too anxious about it," says the Vancouver-based counselor. "I think there's value in stepping back and trying to reflect on what went wrong. Was it a technique issue? People can learn techniques and that can be a lot of fun in a relationship."
Then there's the whole issue of nerves and performance anxiety, especially when you really dig someone.
"For her, it can lead to being a bit reluctant or not being able to relax enough to enjoy the experience," continues Smith. "And for him, [it can mean] not being able to get an erection or prematurely ejaculating. And all sorts of meaning can be created out of that but it's just a circumstance. People don't have to read too much into it."
As Smith points out, that anxiety could be coming from a "well-intended place of wanting to please a partner" and there ain't nothing wrong with that. It could even be the basis for a great relationship. After all, the right moves can be taught/learned. Genuinely connecting with someone can't.
"There are lots of people who have great sex early on in a relationship but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a great relationship or that they are necessarily suited for each other. It just means that they're sexually compatible and a lot of people stay in relationships thinking that means they are in love.
"But then, they realize six months down the road the only thing they do is have sex," he says. "They don't have anything to talk about or they never go out... so [uninspiring first sex] is not necessarily the best indicator of how compatible two people are in the long run."