Well, a new study seems to suggest that women are keeping tight-lipped, too.
And when it comes to their sex lives and intimacy, women aren't just keeping things from their men but from themselves as well.
Dr. Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist with the University of Virginia, tells us that women are more apt to settle for mediocre sex and also to keep their sexual dissatisfaction a secret. Clayton is quick to clarify that "this is not about men." We're not talking about men being unable to satisfy a woman here, it's something that runs far deeper than that. As Clayton says, "We women need to examine ourselves and the types of sexual beings we are."
So What's the Problem?
In a time when women are achieving greater and greater successes professionally, Clayton suggests that the bedroom may have taken a backseat to both the boardroom and the family room. Too few women define themselves as sexual beings. "We define ourselves as workers, wives, mothers, daughters," she says, "We prioritize those things, and then we put sex low on the list. No guy does this to us. We do it to ourselves."
Clayton is also the president of the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH), and has recently co-written the book, Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy with Robin Cantor-Cooke. In it, she argues that "Work and family come first. We end up putting sex low on the priority list... Then when our partner initiates sex, it's just another task. I really believe that we as women accept a level of dissatisfaction that we don't need to accept."
What Is Mediocre Sex?
I'm a guy, so really any sex is good sex, but it seems that women are feeling let down in the sack. As Clayton puts it, "It tends to be this feeling that they're not satisfied and a lot of times that's on an emotional level."
And it doesn't end there. The idea that their sex life isn't quite as happening as they would like doesn't seem to spur women to seek advice or help. Clayton tells us that "Whereas men, if they have trouble with sex, it's a crisis. They run to the doctor and say 'I need something for this.' Women don't do that. They just sort of stuff it down and push it further down on the list." Is it me, or is this list getting a little too long to handle?