But wait, it's not what you think! Sure, sure, "we need to talk," after three or four dates is a gut-wrenching thing to hear. However, when you've been together considerably longer, this is the good kind of talk. It wakes up the butterflies all over again and ensures you'll blissfully head down the same path.
Granted, you'll obviously gather insight into each other during the courtship but as things progress and get more serious you really must (I repeat, must) discuss five key items because if you don't, serious repercussions can follow. Boo!
The Top 5 Must-Have Conversations
Marriage. Money. Work. Location. Kids. No particular order, but these are the ones that matter.
We've all heard statistics about the "50 per cent divorce rate," which can make it easy to say, "Why bother?" Yet marriage -- be it regular, common-law, civil union, shackin' up for good, whatever -- is a fantastic concept and people will eternally march into its ever-welcoming embrace. However people will also consistently do so while turning a blind eye to the five key items mentioned above - including marriage itself.
Marriage
James L. was married and had two kids, but things didn't work out. Now he dates (quite frequently) and each relationship lasts on average 12 months. James is a well-to-do, interesting and fun bachelor and so, the women inevitably want to tie the knot. He does not. This is a tough situation for both parties. Every gal knows you can't ask, "Do you want to get married again someday?" in the first few dates. And he can't exactly offer up the news over coffee. It takes a while: they hope he'll change; the realization he won't; the end.
Money
Mark D. already owned a house and had a nice nest-egg when he got married. He sacrificed his early 20s wild years by living at home for a long time to lay out this stability. His wife however came in with a low-income job and a serious pile of debt. That was tough but they talked (and paid) it through. Then, one night he casually asked, "If we split up, what would you think you should get?" He was shocked, shocked I say, to hear her say, "I don't know, half?"
Work
Derek H. was and still is a 'thrower' at the airport (you know, those kind souls who delicately place your luggage on a plane) while his wife was a career-driven marketing shark. While she didn't let on that the differences in career ambition were a sore spot for her, the quiet frustration eventually spilled over into everything else. Coming into the marriage they admittedly breezed over just about every topic and the marriage did not survive.