Instead, recognize the telltale signs that you've been whipped and peel your limp, lifeless body from around your flame's frigid baby finger.

Taste Duds

Once upon a time, escargot with a long-stem rose was your idea of gourmet cuisine. But now you guzzle beer and pound back fries in front of the hockey game. If your tastes in food, music, and entertainment have radically changed and you're not sure exactly how you feel about it, check your back for lash marks. And boys, the next time you're holding hands in front of the marquee and glance right past Mission Impossible III in favor of the latest Jane Austen epic, don't wonder what happened: you're whipped.

It's Better to Give and Receive

While some may claim that giving and receiving are equal pleasures, no one truly wants to play the role of downtown pleasurer all the time. And even though libidos ebb and flow in relationships, there should be a good balance of oohing and aahing. If it feels like your sex life is the ongoing enactment of someone else's fantasy, you could be in trouble.

Friends. Remember Them?

Lately, friends have become endangered species in your life. Weekends used to be all about the GNOs and BNOs (that's Girls Night Out and Boys Night Out, right? - clueless Ed.) but now you're more likely to have your regularly scheduled Friday Date Night than hit your local watering hole for rounds of cocktails or dress up for Disco Bowling night at the lanes. Losing sight of the big posse picture is a sure sign of getting lost on a whip trip.

What Time Are You Coming Home?

If a night out on the town has gone from ending when the sun comes up to when it goes down, you may have a problem, Houston. You're probably whipped if your partner starts raising an eyebrow at a late night out with friends or insists upon vetting your schedule beforehand. Equally telling is if your new Romeo or Juliet invites themselves along on your girls or boys nights out. If you've got the only partner in tow, it's time to unwhip your relationship.

The Life of the Party

There was a time when you held the room in rapture with stories of your exploits in the Cambodian jungle. Now, one withering look from your girlfriend tells you that the story is inappropriate and you sit down, story untold. If your partner regularly rains on your parade and you find yourself leaning against the wall instead of breaking out the bus stop on the dance floor, you've got a whipping problem.

Fashion Crimes

Found yourself putting aside your favorite hoodie and denim in favor of the scoop-neck halter with miniskirt he prefers? Does she drag you to countless boutiques and come into the change-stall to make your final wardrobe selections? There's a difference between throwing on your hottie's favorite shirt for a special occasion and dressing yourself from head to toe in an argyle jumpsuit. Stay true to your style -- isn't it the look they fell for in the first place, anyway?