The last thing you want to do is hurt their feelings. But in the end you have to think of yourself - and you want out. From picking the right moment to the language you use, from choosing your breakup location to coping with the dumpee's emotions in the days that follow, these tips will help you hold 'em then fold 'em.
Preparation Rage
Cutting someone out of your life isn't a decision you've made lightly, so take the time to plan the way you deliver the news. The more you put into the preparation, the less likely they are to become irrational. That said, some dumpees -- even though they know a breakup is the right thing to do -- will come to tears anyway. Think through what questions your soon-to-be ex-flame might have and plan appropriate answers.
Know Who's On First
Your best pal may have been the first to know you felt something special for your most recent heartthrob, but that doesn't mean they get first dibs on the news of the decision to break up. Be respectful of the person you're about to say goodbye to and tell them before anyone else.
Face-to-face Face Value
Yeah, I know, it's easier to deliver sad news over the phone, email or through text message. But you know deep down the right thing to do is endure those awkward, uncomfortable breakup moments in person. If you don't extend this courtesy to your future-ex, there's no chance in hell you'll ever be friends with them or any of their hot pals. And if that's not motivation enough, consider it a deposit into your Bank of Karma, saving yourself from being surprisingly dumped on Facebook -- and in front of all your friends to boot.
Timing Is Everything
From orgasms to surprise birthday parties to stand-up comedians to a well-cooked meal, timing is everything. Apply this life theme to your breakup plan too. Don't drop the bomb right after having sex or before a momentous event. Avoid special occasions -- holidays, anniversaries, birthdays -- at all costs. You may be ruining their day, but you don't have to ruin that same day of the year, every year, for all eternity. If your dumpee is a social butterfly, consider a Friday dump so they can distract themselves with friends over the weekend. Or if your soon-to-be ex is a bit of a workhorse, make a plan for Monday so they can keep themselves busy at the office while adjusting to their new single status.
