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A Lover's Guide to Sports Analogies A Lover's Guide to Sports Analogies

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A Lover's Guide to Sports Analogies
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A Lover's Guide to Sports Analogies
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It's a well-known fact that most guys use sports analogies to describe everything... including stuff pertaining to women.

For women who don't follow sports, such esoteric terminology is utterly confusing, compounding the already widespread and seemingly untreatable affliction of Male Relationship-Discussion Reticence, or MRDR as it's clinically known.

 

Wouldn't the world of male-female relationships be a better place if there was a Sports-Dating Dictionary available? Answer: yes. Leave it to your good friends at Lavalife to provide arguably the most useful tool in dating since the "I'm Sorry" Hallmark card collection.

 

Men can use this guide to describe their exchanges with women to other guys, while women can explain their actions, motives, and feelings to men in a manner that will be completely understood. We've also included some examples of how to use these terms in everyday speech. You're welcome.

 

Prevent Defence

When a woman employs a Prevent Defence, she is completely focused on preventing absolutely any form of intimacy to happen at any cost. "No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake. I was completely shut out by the prevent defence."

 

Pulling the Goalie

As in, "Honey... you'll be pulling the goalie tonight." When you are told this, it is taken to mean that you are not having sex, but it's OK to go ahead and tug the monkey yourself.

 

One and a Bonus

With its origins in the sport of basketball, One and a Bonus represents the achievement of a multiple orgasm.

 

Hail Mary

A very low percentage play wherein a man makes romantic overtures to a woman who is clearly too good for him in all respects. It refers to football's desperation pass that works perhaps only one in 50 times. Of course, when it does work, it's amazing, unexpected, and the man looks like a hero. The other 49 times are quite easily forgotten.

 

Personal Best

While this term would appear to be positive at first blush, it actually refers to the 1982 movie of the same name and represents the irksome feeling a man encounters when he thinks he may be dating a lesbian. "I think she may have her very own DVD copy of Personal Best."

 

The Curse of the Bambino

Refers to the unwillingness of one person (usually a man) to become involved with another person (usually a woman) who has a child from a previous relationship.

 

 

 



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