"So what if he doesn't want kids and I do, I have to make this relationship work no matter what." Saying things like that is a surefire sign that you're in too deep. If you start throwing away your core values, you're going to cling that much harder to your new love interest because you have nothing left of your own.

 

"That's when you know that you're being unconsciously pulled," says Free of giving up too much of yourself. "It's like a force - you're basically drunk. You need to hang onto the things that are important to you because it's actually going to slow you down and keep you more centered."

 

Thinking that if you lose weight or get a better job, this person might like you more is the stalker's slippery slope. The more you put yourself down, the less secure you'll feel in the relationship and eventually those insecurities will manifest into obsessive behavior.

 

"You're going to try to stabilize because you don't feel confident in yourself, which is always a sign that it's messed up," says Free. "You'll try to solidify the dynamic by saying, 'OK if I text this guy or girl more and he/she texts me back more, then at least I know it's safe and I know he/she's interested.'" Big mistake.

 

The immediate hit of sexual sparks can be so intoxicating that we lose our sense of self -- not that chemistry's a bad thing, but it should never come at the cost of inner peace. Ergo, if you lose that balance of chemistry and calmness, you might start acting out in ways that drive your new date far, far away.

 

"When we're talking about calmness, you don't have to become a Zen monk," says Free. "What we're talking about is the ability just to be able to stop and come within yourself. But as the chemistry increases, we start becoming punch drunk. So even though the chemistry's really good, on a deeper level, we're not in alignment and that's not good."