But the ending of a friendship can be just as devastating and often just as dramatic.
The good news is that ending a friendship doesn't have to be this way, not if you can let go of some of the friendship lies and pick up some good breakup habits.
Lie: Friends are forever.
Truth: Like any relationship, it's natural for friendships to end. As you grow and change, so will your friendships.
Of course when a friendship ends you will be sad. Endings are sad and can be painful but the suffering is totally optional. When you cling to this B.F.F. rule that says you have to stay friends forever with a person, you're setting yourself up to suffer. We are meant to have multiple relationships in our lifetimes. It's just part of life for people to come in and out of our lives. Be willing to let friendships run their course without having to keep them going past their expiration date. "Because we've known each other since high school" cannot be the primary reason to stay friends.
Good Breakup Rule #1: Be Honest. If your friendship is no longer giving you what you need, be honest about the 'why.' First get clear within yourself on why this relationship isn't making your life better. Then talk to your friend and give her or him a chance to respond. Don't wimp out and just let the friendship wither away or create some massive drama that leaves you not speaking to each other. That only leaves questions and hurt feelings on both sides. Tell your friend what you need, and then ask them if they can give it. Listen. If they can't have the conversation with you, then you know the friendship is over. If they do lean in and talk with you, you might have a relationship that can grow. Be honest with each other and yourself.
Good Breakup Rule #2: Don't blame. Ending a relationship doesn't have to be anyone's 'fault' so avoid pointing fingers and making the other person wrong or flawed. Instead meet your friend with your heart, the one that connected the two of you in the first place. Be vulnerable and share how you feel. Yes, it may feel a little scary and it will seem easier to bring out your old defense mechanisms and shut yourself off, but that will only lead to drama and hurt. If you can't be open with your feelings in this relationship, either this relationship isn't right for you or you have a problem opening up. Either way, it's something you need to know.
Lie: It's not nice to not want to be friends with someone.
Truth: Friendship are supposed to make your life and you better, and if they don't they aren't the right friendships for you.