Also, when we're desperate to impress, we tend to talk too much and say stupid things. Know when to shut up and let other people talk.

 

Know the color code: People tend to wear a lot of black to events, which is fine. Julianne Bien, developer of the Lumalight Color Therapy System, says black is a "safe bet and shows security and sophistication." But if you're one of the few not wearing black, you'll stand out. A recent study at the University of Rochester found, not all that surprisingly, that men, while unaware of the role color plays in their attraction, are most attracted to --and willing to spend more money on -- a woman in red. No comparable studies have been done on women but Bien says darker shades of blue are good for men trying to impress women, "particularly when trying to showcase their intellectual side." White on a woman, she says "shows purity, sophistication and clarity. While a man in white may show coldness and give off a sense of elitism."

 

Other color tips: "Violet on a woman gives off the impression of spiritual awareness and activity. Men should stay away from solid violet/purple clothes, but accessories for violet accents can be very stimulating for women who love sensitive, spiritual guys. Orange is warm, fun, joyful and passionate. Green shows a sense of balance and peace, and indicates a healthy state of being. Yellow shows a sense of self-esteem, creativity and overall friendliness. When wearing yellow, you are very approachable."

 

Smell right: There's no real scientific evidence for that old study that said lavender and pumpkin pie increase penile blood flow. Rachel Herz, professor of psychology at Brown University and author The Scent of Desire says, "There is no universal scent that sparks sexual arousal. However, how a man smells is the most important feature for a woman's sexual attraction. For men, how a woman looks is the most important factor. A man should smell good and, if using a fragrance, use something he expects his target will like. Either knowing the woman personally and knowing what she will like or banking on what's really hot from the marketing perspective. If he's not going to wear fragrance, he should shower in Ivory soap and make sure his clothes are clean, and his true natural body odor will be the most important thing for her biologically.

 

"Women wear fragrance at least as much for themselves as to attract men. Men often don't care that much about women's fragrance, as long as they don't mind it. But if they wear a scent they like, it makes them feel more confident and when you feel good about yourself you project a more attractive version of yourself."

 

Be kind: Henry James once said, "Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind." Good advice. (Don't know who he is? Please see: Be well read). Recent studies at The University of Nottingham discovered that women place greater importance on altruistic traits than anything else and that both sexes may consider altruistic traits when choosing a mate.

 

Examples of altruistic behavior used in the experiments were donating blood or volunteering at the hospital. But if you're squidgy about needles or pressed for time, little kindnesses like buying the office donuts or going on a coffee run are always appreciated. Ask about people's kids and pets, hold doors, offer compliments. People love to be told they look nice/are smart/did a good job and they like those who tell them so.

 

Yeah, bad boys and girls might get the booty in the short run but nobody really likes them and they're often unhappy people who spend a lot of time curled up into little balls and crying like babies.

 

See? I'll bet you feel more attractive already.