"If you see a photograph of a person expressing arrogance, I, personally, would be concerned. Arrogant behavior is a tip-off that the person is more likely to be deceptive (though not all arrogant people lie.) Arrogance is a feigned confidence, and when people fake things, it's a good indication they are likely to deceive. On the contrary, people who are humble are the least likely to be deceptive in my experience."

 

Interestingly, Eyes for Lies says that in her experience, "There are no tell-tale clues that someone is lying. For every trait that someone says is exclusive to liars, I can identify a truth-teller doing the exact same behavior. As someone who is above-average in spotting lies, I can tell you deception detection, for me, is not about spotting clues. It's all about spotting inconsistencies."

 

Ekman's partner O'Sullivan tells me, "It's not merely seeing the behavior and recognizing it but in interpreting the situation"

 

In other words, while you're scanning your date for the usual emotions someone might associate with lying -- microexpressions of guilt or fear -- you might be missing something bigger.

 

Your date might not feel guilty at all about lying to get you into bed. In fact, he might be concealing pride or cockiness at his ability to deceive you.

 

O'Sullivan quips, "No surprise they call it 'cocky.'"

 

According to Eyes for Lies, "The best way to identify a liar is to trust the inconsistencies that pop up. If someone's behavior is inconsistent, or if the details they give you don't add up, trust it, and do some fact checking. 

 

"Oftentimes, people see deception, but they don't want to trust what they saw because it is emotionally painful, so they deny the truth or excuse it."

 

Other signs to watch for? Contradictions in what people say versus what they do (saying no, while nodding yes). Also, watch for insincere emotions (the fake smile) or acting in a way that is contrary to their usual personality (a usually stoic person who's excited or a usually anxious person who suddenly seems calm).

 

Also be on the lookout for a bad case of TMI. When someone tells a story with too much detail it can mean they've put a lot of thought into getting out of a situation and come up with a complicated lie ("I went to the car wash because Frank from work's cat vomited in my car, and a man dressed in a hotdog suit carrying three blue snow cones almost slammed into my windshield because he couldn't see out of the costume…").

 

Pay attention to these signs and the next time you hear "I'll call you" after a date, you won't have to wonder.

 

 

Dating Coach Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of How to Date like a Grown-Up and Stop Getting Dumped