And while the act of sex is certainly lovely it's not love... at least not necessarily and seldom at the beginning of a relationship.

So why do sensible men and women continue to mistake one for the other?

My friend Lorna* is a friendly, attractive 27-year-old who manages a fashion store. She has a good network of friends and family and an active social life. She is sexually confident and sends this message loud and clear. But rather than attracting positive, healthy relationships, she seems to be a magnet for every sleazebag under the sun --married men, guys with pregnant girlfriends, you name it.

Lorna thinks that having no-strings sex with these guys empowers her, making her desirable, liberated and sophisticated. The reality is these encounters always end in rejection which subtly erodes her already fragile self-esteem. She breezily brushes the rejection off saying, with false bravado, "I wasn't interested in him anyway," then sets out looking for another mate to make her feel desirable and 'loved' again.

Why do men and women who seem to have it all seek out physical unions with unsuitable partners who objectify them, disrespect them and break their hearts, when all they want is to be loved?

Chemical Charm

When we meet someone who we have chemistry with, it's easy to think that the dizzy sensations running through our bodies are the first stirrings of love. And sometimes it's easy to let those delicious feelings whisk us into the bedroom.

"Sometimes you hook up and have sex with someone because you feel the chemistry is there," says Alison. "But the chemistry isn't enough to make something more out of a one-nighter."

Fear of Intimacy

Jay is looking for a girlfriend but admits he is easily swayed by the initial feelings of attraction he feels towards women he meets. He finds sex easier to initiate than the intimacies of getting to know someone.

"If I met a girl at a party or something, and I was attracted to her, I would try to get her to have sex with me. Being physical was easier than trying to get to know them. But once it was over, I felt alone again," says Jay.