Along with vetting your date through Google, testing for STDs, and finding out if your partner believes the Mayans were descended from an alien race, the pre-nup has become one of the cornerstones of modern romance.

 

Things might be hunky-dory in the honeymoon stage, but we've all heard enough stories of true love gone awry to know that one day the pheremonal rush wears off, replaced by a loathing for the way the person you live with brushes their teeth.

 

"If I had money and the person I was dating didn't -- say, I was dating a musician -- I would definitely want a pre-nup," says Carla B. Still in her 20s, the blonde immigration officer says she would demand a pre-nup if either party had considerably more assets than the other, particularly if someone's assets included "old money" -- that is, sizable family coffers dating back to dear old ancestors.

 

"It's different if you make it while you're together, but if it goes back in the family, that's something else," she says.

 

Carla said her biggest fear is ending up like her friend, who dated a millionaire, had two kids with him and became a stay-at-home mom. Now, she lives in a basement apartment with an eight and a 10-year-old.

 

Another Karla, Karla V., has hooked up with a younger man who came into some money as the result of a settlement following a motorcycle accident. Four months after starting to see each other, he was suggesting marriage. "I said it was a little soon," she says. She was the one who brought up the subject of the pre-nup. "I started seeing him before I knew about the money," she says. "He didn't want to sign one. He said, 'What's mine is yours.'"

 

Why sign at all? As Carla with a C points out, it's easier than ever to meet someone, thanks to the Internet, which was in fact invented by divorce lawyers (OK, we're making that up. But think about it). Long-term commitments are more daunting then ever.

 

Jessica D., a West Coast concert promoter, believes in pre-nups, particularly if they hold a step-out clause. That is, if the partner is stepping out (read: getting sex on the side), there should be some financial reckoning. "If you step out, buck up, baby," says Jessica. It could make the stepper-outer think twice -- but then, if only money is holding back the partner, how healthy can the relationship be?

 

Financial protection is only one reason to sign a pre-nup. Done right, the document can, believe it or not, be a way to further cement your lurv.

 

Discussing a pre-nup gets the issue of finances out in the open. Curtis wed his wife a decade ago to prevent her deportation back to her native Australia. When he did, he was made financially responsible for her for 10 years.