Other signs of the passive-aggressive dater include backhanded compliments ("that looks just like something my mom would wear"); false thanks for gifts ("Oh, my mom will love this" when it's actually for her); and perennial lateness (though this could also just be put down to self-discipline problems).

 

Leaving notes is classic p-a behavior. (In fact, there's a whole, and very entertaining, website dedicated to the art of the passive aggressive note.) Notes are great for when you want to make your displeasure known without any actual confrontation. And you don't even have to sign them.

 

And thanks to technology, there are more ways to express your veiled hostility than ever -- by forgetting to turn on your cell phone, by posting "concerned" notes about STDs on someone's social networking site, by emailing pics of your Yorkie.

 

So what can be done about this social epidemic? Well, it's important to remember that passive aggression, in certain rare situations, be a useful communication tool. Say, for example, that the only alternative you can see to leaving an anonymous note for someone is taking a shovel to the back of his head. Also, in others, passive aggression is fairly easy to negate. If you refuse to rise to react to the "aggression" part -- for aggression generally feeds aggression -- you'll likely find you're left with the passive remains.  

 

Comment: "That looks just like something my mom would wear."

Response: "Your mom must have an awesome sense of style!"

 

Also, a person's p-a tendencies don't necessarily make them not worth the trouble. In cases of jealousy -- and it happens to all of us -- a little reassurance goes a long way.

 

Of course, it's often more trouble than it's worth. And, once you've recognized the signs of the classic p-a type, you can use them as a filter for prospective partners. First impressions count, and if someone's already exhibiting the symptoms, ask yourself: do you really want to be separating someone's real thoughts and emotions from their post-it notes for the rest of your life? Is the person whose online profile reads like something written by a vengeful teenager really someone you want to have coffee with?

 

To be fair, though, while some personality types might be more likely than others to show up drunk for your family functions or to park your car in a tow-away zone, sooner or later we all engage in it. We just have to realize when it's happening and, instead of leaving that note or picking a fight over something inconsequential, confront the behavior head on.

 

Either that or just email a link to this article to whomever you're having a problem with.