With that in mind, we at Click by Lavalife have gathered some of the greatest, funniest, weirdest and most prescient sex-and-dating utterances through the ages as a springboard to your soul-searching... or to use as a handy time-wasting diversion. Your choice.

On Marriage...

"What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne

(Oh Nathaniel, that's just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I'm totally going to use that the next time I want to get into someone's pants).

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

(I guess we've become a little more jaded since Hawthorne's time.)

"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."

- Mickey Rooney

"The appropriate age for marriage is around 18 for girls and 37 for men."

- Aristotle

(Who knew that Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were such well-read students of Aristotle's works?)

On Marriage and Sex...

"God created sex. Priests created marriage."

- Voltaire

"A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing."

- W. Somerset Maugham

"Extra-marital sex is as overrated as pre-marital sex. And marital sex, come to think of it."

- Simon Gray

"I know nothing about sex, because I was always married."

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

(Nine marriages -- you must have learned something!)

On Masturbation...

"The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it."

- Truman Capote

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."

- Lily Tomlin

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."

- George Carlin

On Orgasms...

"An orgasm is just a reflex, like a sneeze."

- Ruth Westheimer

(Way to take the magic out of sex, Doctor).

"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away."

- Mae West

(Hopefully, it keeps Doctor Ruth away. Way to go Mae!)

On Sex...

"Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex."

- Barbara Cartland

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

- Woody Allen

(As with most Woody Allen quotes, you wonder whether you should put it in the 'sex' section or the 'masturbation' section).

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

- Billy Crystal

(If by "place" you mean, "parking lot," then yes).

"There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex."

- Billy Joel

(Have you seen Billy Joel lately? I think he's been avoiding lots of bad sex).

On Kissing...

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."

- Ingrid Bergman

"Kissing don't last; cookery do."

- George Meredith

(My cooking lasts longer than you'd ever want it to).