We try to be smart. We really do (at least I do and I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt) but sometimes we find ourselves entangled in uncomfortable or unfortunate romantic situations. More often than not, these involve some sort of betrayal. And often the time comes when we want to delicately extricate ourselves but the logistics are more than we bargained for -- because let's be honest, we weren't really thinking. Can you get out while the gettin's good and without making too much of a mess?

Who's the Boss?

So, you've been doing your boss. It happens. Can you get out and keep your job? Maybe. But you might want to brush up your resume first. Then you need to go to lunch and, over non-alcoholic beverages, put an end to things. Tell them it isn't working for you but you would really like it if you could go on working together. Say something pre-emptive like "I know you're much too professional to ever make things uncomfortable for me, so it's silly to worry but I just want to make sure it will be OK." If the relationship was serious and lasted for any length of time, there's a good chance it won't be OK -- even if they tell you otherwise -- and every time you get called into their office, you'll be staring at the desk thinking about all the good times you had on it and knowing that you're both thinking the same thing.

There's a good chance you may feel the rumor mill running around you. "God, when I broke up with Glen it was awful," says Melissa, who now works in human resources at another company. "He walked around the office acting like I didn't exist and this witch I worked with got a real kick out of that, especially since she knew we were seeing each other before and always thought I got preferential treatment."

If this happens, pretend you don't even notice it. And make sure to be nice to absolutely everyone. Not sickeningly nice, just friendly. Even if you feel like you're being sneered at and talked about the minute you turn your back.

Then start job hunting right away. Meanwhile, if you've started seeing someone else, make sure they meet you away from the office.

Also, never badmouth the person you're trying to get rid of, even if you think they deserve it (unless they've gotten violent or done something that required getting the cops involved, then badmouth them all you want). You could say something to the wrong person. You'll look better for having kept your mouth shut. This goes for all of these situations.

Bros Before Hos, Sisters Before Misters

I'm not one of those people who believe all your friends' exes are off-limits. If you and your friend are extremely close, however, and your friend is still carrying a torch, staying away from the object of affection is the kindest thing to do. Sometimes breaking this rule is worth it. My friend Hailey is now married to her friend's ex. Other times, not so much. What to do if you crossed the line and then realized you'd rather have your friend?

I would say tell your friend, but a web search on the subject revealed opinion is split. In answer to a question posted on Yahoo! "I slept with my best friends ex..should i tell her?" the chosen best answer was "oh hell no, i would kick ur ass...so dont tell her, cuz then she will be ur ex best friend."

Another was "How the hell could you do such a thing? I am shocked, in awe, on how a person could betray their best friend like that. I hope you feel so awful because you are the lowest of the low, the scum on this earth. How dare you. Tell her while you still have some dignity left."

I say meh, it happens. And if you don't run with the sort of crowd that goes around kicking asses, telling your friend will alleviate the fear that she'll find out from the ex or from someone else. Maybe they'll understand. Maybe it will end the friendship. There are other friends. Also, if you tell, all you have to do to break it off is inform the ex you're done and there will be nothing to worry about.

If, on the other hand, you choose to keep it on the down-low, your break-up speech has to be accompanied by "And please don't tell Jason OK? I don't wanna get my ass kicked." You also better be good and sure nobody else knows about your little dalliance. Just in case, you might have to run around town doing damage control and handing out $50 bills.

Third Wheel

It's one thing to be the cheater, another entirely to be the accomplice. You don't owe anyone anything (except common decency but we've obviously forgone that -- it happens) and you don't have to hide anything from anyone. But maybe you're tired of all the empty promises and of being used for cheap thrills. After all, you deserve to be somebody's number one.

Follow the same protocol as you would if you were the cheater: break the news then completely sever all ties. Don't allow them any opportunity to suck you back in. Be firm. Be cold. But sometimes they will persist. They've gotten used to having both wife and mistress (or husband and lover, wife and lover, husband and mistress) and aren't necessarily going to want to go back to not having it all.

"She wouldn't leave me alone," recalls Adrian, who tried to break it off with his married lover over the course of months. "It never occurred to her that I might want to get on with my own life and find someone to marry. She once threw a fit after seeing me out with someone else."

You know what worked? Threatening to tell her husband. Cheaters are generally chickens when it comes down to it. "It didn't come down to me actually having to tell him, thank God. Because I don't think I actually could have done it. But the threat was enough to scare her off."

Of course, they could call your bluff and confess themselves. Then you might have to hide. It's best if you can stay away from married folk in the first place. Yeah, yeah. Hindsight 20/20 and all that.