"The problem I see more often than anything is that people think it's going to happen for them by not looking," says Katz. "The real problem with most people's love lives is that they don't do anything. They expect it to happen because they're a catch.
"So I'm not a believer in not looking for love, because in real life, unfortunately, we don't find love at the gas station or at the grocery store or when we're working in an office with four other married people. I really do think it's about making a consistent effort to create opportunity.
"Of course, how you go about that is going to be the difference between being proactive and being desperate."
Katz says dating requires practice, not avoidance.
"People think they're supposed to be good at dating, that it's supposed to come naturally," he explains. "It doesn't. It's a skill set -- and that's the big blind spot that most people have.
"As there's a learned behavior at your job, so is there a skill set to dating and relationships, and it has to do with a measure of practice and understanding the opposite sex, what they're looking for and what they're attracted to."
Katz says the key to a successful date is just being you, and he offers one bit of advice to achieve this mindset.
"People should ask themselves, 'Who are you at your best around?' Your best friend? Your mom? Your work colleagues? That's who you're supposed to be on a date.
"The problem is when we're insecure and go gaga over someone, we act like someone else. We seize up when we think we're being judged, when the pressure's on, when we're attracted to someone. Once we start to do that, it has the opposite effect of what we intend. You really want to channel your most comfortable energy on a date."
Katz also encourages daters to use their imaginations.
"People should pretend in their head that they're taken, because the energy of someone who is taken is completely different than the energy of someone who is desperate. The reason that married men suddenly get more attention from women is that they don't need anything from anybody. A married guy can talk to any woman because he can't be rejected."
And if things repeatedly don't work out, Katz recommends a strategy usually reserved for people leaving their jobs: the exit interview. (See sidebar for tips).
"If you're a woman who goes out on 10 dates and you never get a second date, it's probably time to start asking questions.
"What if you went back to that person a week later and said, 'Hey, I know I'm not going to hear from you again and that's cool. I had a nice time meeting you and I'm trying to learn something about myself. The signals that I'm sending aren't working for me.
"Can you please give me some feedback as to why we didn't get a second date? I'd really appreciate it. "
"Most nice people will tell you."
Norman, who is now casually dating three women, said he learned from his past behavior and through watching others.
"For me, it was the right solution," he said.