 |
INTIMATE
Spooning: The Great Post-Coital Divide
By Sarah Rowland
|
|
|
|
|
You Know You're Not A Big-Time Spooner When....
Every time your partner tries to cuddle, you fight the urge to blurt out, "Oh god, not another one. It's my ex all over again."
You keep one foot firmly planted on the floor for a quick escape.
You think you're being subtle when you say things like, "Wow, would you look at the time – I have to be at work in 12-and-a-half-hours. I better get some shut-eye."
You think 30 seconds is a reasonable amount of time to wait before trying to slither out of your lover's cobra-like clutch.
There are times you'd rather go under the knife with Mickey Rourke's plastic surgeon than spend another minute in your partner's embrace.
You Know You Are A Big-Time Spooner When....
After sex, your need to cuddle supersedes your need for water and cum towels.
More than one partner has uttered the words "enough already" during one of your marathon cuddling sessions.
You wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself wrapped around a rolled up quilt.
Your pet sleeps on the floor for fear you'll smother it in your sleep.
There's an edge in partner's voice when he or she jokes, "Those aren't pillows."
-- SR
