Worst Ways to Dump Someone

According to Facebookers

My ex boyfriend of five years became a born again Christian, said we couldn't have sex anymore and made me go to Bible study. Then he sent me a text message saying 'The Holy Spirit has come between us. Clearly we can no longer be together'..."Bambi"

A girl once told me she had a guy tell her "by the way, you're dumped," as she was giving him a blow job. Did that dude have cajones or what?!..."Spicolli"

She told me "I should have told you this before, but I'm getting married and I'm 6 months pregnant"..."Lester"

I was living with someone and I'd told him I wanted to break up but he wasn't hearing it, but I was already seeing someone else. So the live in boyfriend came home and found a condom wrapper in the bed. I think it was the new boyfriend's idea more than mine..."Alexxis"

A text message followed by a number disconnect is always good!..."Meg"

Don't tell her/him, don't call anymore & don't return phone calls. Isn't it the worst thing to be left in the dark torturing yourself and wondering why? I wouldn't know but I sure can imagine..."Brad"

I immigrated. My dad told him..."Esmerelda"

I have a girlfriend who once left a guy in the middle of a restaurant saying she had to go to the washroom and never came back, and then never returned his calls and blocked his number!..."Bubbles Larue"

Singing telegram. No, wait.... Convincing her to get tattoos on the inside of her forearms and then showing her how they fold together (Mad Magazine style) to read, "you're dumped."..."Mr. Stupendous"

I once broke up with a guy who had come into town to attend a wedding with me. We were in a long distance thing at the time and pretty serious. I broke up with him the morning of the wedding, which was that afternoon. I had to read a super-sentimental Rilke poem about love enduring at the ceremony. My date, who sort of hated me by then, was not impressed..."Xena"

About a week before an out of town annual party, I asked my boyfriend about making our hotel room reservations (queen or king size bed?). He says "Actually, it's your choice, I'm bringing someone else"..."Elastic Girl"

Names have been changed